This is not a review for the movie “Me Before You” but watching this movie has somehow sparked a small debate on my Facebook wall. My Facebook is very private and I only befriend people whom I know and have communicated in real life. So if you and I are Facebook friends, I consider you an actual friend.
Anyway, yesterday I posted this on my wall and the comments from 2 of my Facebook friends were startling. 1 of these 2, I consider him to be rude and offensive. I’m not ready to open this post to the public because I do not want to spark another debate so I’m just going to show the print screen of the said post.
It started with a very simple post with no intention, merely to express that I’m feeling sad about the ending of this movie. I watched the movie twice and I find this movie so interesting because it questions about choices people make in life. I’m a “shallow” person who usually watches only comedy or superhero movies because I think life can sometimes be difficult and depressing so why should I make it even more? Instead, I should laugh and enjoy the moment while I’m still living. So watching this movie is really something out of ordinary for me. When I decided to watch this movie, I was already sad and angry about a family member (story for another day), but some friends shared this movie on Facebook so I just decided to click and see what it is really about. Before I watched it fully for the first time, I was merely fast forwarding it to see if it was really going to be such a tearjerker. But no, most scenes which I clicked to, were actually light-hearted and humourous. That was why I thought that it was not going to be that bad after all, and therefore decided to watch it before I ended that shitty day.
This is the entire post from my Facebook. Without any intention, I suddenly became an insensitive person. In my first reply to “Friend #1”, I didn’t mean “don’t care about these disabled people, just indulge in the misery of others”. I meant, “there are always going to be people who feel negative about something and it’s difficult to keep up with it, so I’m not going to care about the protests and am just going to watch the movie (or any movie that I might have wanted to watch at that time).” It’s pretty much like “I don’t want to care about those fat-shamers, skinny shamers or any body-shamers, I just want to eat that chocolate ice-cream which I feel like eating right now.” It’s as simple as that!
I’m not a romantic novel reader but I have watched a few romantic Korean dramas and I think most people understand that in such kind of “romantic” storyline, it can sometimes be very unrealistic. Afterall, this is the job of an author – to write a good story and earn some money? Isn’t that what we are all doing? So, do you really expect all authors to write the same genre, the same storyline, the same happily-ever-after story with only perfectly normal and “abled” human beings? Well no, because everyone is different. Everyone accepts/likes different things so we do, read, see and share different things. This is your rights, your choice, your freedom to do anything you want. But you don’t do it on other people’s private space. I later posted this.
By the way, you might have realized that “Friend #2” commented that he himself is “a disabled ass”. 3 months ago when I last saw him, he wasn’t on a wheelchair being paralyzed. He was walking and talking. However, from many of his posts on Facebook (not that I see his posts very often because Facebook generates stuff based on recency and more likes/comments?), it is implied that he was diagnosed or suffered from or is currently suffering mild autism, although many of his friends have actually commented otherwise to his condition. But he insists that that is/was his condition. I’m sorry, I’m not sure what verbs/tenses I should use because I don’t know this person’s condition well. So, I assume this is the reason why he said that he is “a disabled ass”. Well, I guess he just wanted to say that he is “disabled” but because I called him an “ass” in one of my replies, and therefore he became the “disabled ass”. But, whatever.
Some points I want to highlight are:
- It is never polite to write such things on other people’s posts. If you disagree with something and really feel there’s an urge to argue, do it nicely and privately.
- If you prefer to argue publicly, do use a nice tone. After all, you don’t know what the other person had gone/is going through at that moment.
- Alternatively, you can choose to view this person as a shallow person, and simply unfollow them. Or even better, unfriend them. It’s okay to do that. You don’t have to write horrible things on the person’s wall.
Wait, there are more important points I want to stress on.
Many years ago, I watched a movie called Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. This movie didn’t receive very good reviews but there were 2 scenes that I will always remember. And when bad times come, I often remind myself these 2 scenes.
Scene 1: When asked why is he destroying the earth, Silver Surfer said, “I have no choice.” Susan Storm then replied, “What do you mean you don’t have a choice? There’s always a choice.”
Scene 2: Susan Storm was dying because she wanted to save the Silver Surfer from a flying sharp object but she was instead pierced by this object. Silver Surfer revived her and said to Mr. Invisible, “Treasure each moment with her and tell her she was right. We do have a choice.”
My point here is that life doesn’t always turn out like how we want it to be. We all want a peaceful, fair and equal world. Who doesn’t? Disaster, tragedy and all sorts of bad things may fall upon you but the ending/outcome of your story depends solely on the choice you make in life. You do not have to agree with anyone. Similarly, you do not have to disagree with anyone. So, if you have the slightest intention to create awareness or to make this world a better place, start with your own actions. Convince people with your actions, not suffocate them with your unkind words.
Remember, there’s always a choice. We do have a choice. Choose to be positive and fill this world with more positive aura.